It’s so easy in today’s world to feel like we aren’t good enough. We are constantly shown what other people are doing, how successful they are and what they are achieving. As a result of being bombarded, on a daily basis, we forget to reflect on our own progression and success and to become thankful for that.

I have definitely felt like I am not good enough at certain points in my life. I often analyse things too much and take people’s comments and lack of comments to heart. I often feel like it’s a personal reflection on me! But it isn’t. 

I think it’s so important to become aware of our own personal experience rather than always focusing on others and as Jordon Peterson (a world renowned clinical psychologist) put so well in his book “12 Rules for Life” – Rule 4: “Compare Yourself To Who You Were Yesterday, Not To Who Someone Else Is Today”. 

It can be difficult to think rationally when we get caught up in this mindset but I have earned so much wisdom over the last few years that I like to remind myself of when I don’t feel like I’m good enough and I hope some of it resonates with you!  

  • Very rarely a person’s behaviour has anything to do with you! People react to situations based on their own personal situations, upbringing and beliefs, even their genetics. Try to remember that everyone has their own story just like you do. Whenever I feel somebody has made me feel like I’m not good enough I remind myself of this very fact – it’s not personal towards me and their reaction is based upon their own lived experience. 
  • Learn to connect with your internal world. Once we do this on a regular basis, we will begin to recognise our character and personal strengths. In the past I didn’t really learn to connect with myself so it was very easy for someone else to shift my own perspective. However, over time I have connected with myself enough to know that I’m proud of the person I am regardless of other’s opinions. I have achieved this through therapy, journaling, meditation, breathing and achieving important things that are meaningful to me. I learnt to build a solid foundation of self-love and self-trust.
  • Become aware of your thoughts and when your inner voice is telling you something like “you’re not good enough”. By becoming aware of the thoughts that enter our mind we can then use this as a way to catch ourselves out. The more I have practiced this the quicker I can gain control and focus my attention on something real such as my breathing, a task I’m doing or switching a negative thought to something positive. The language we use with ourselves really does have an impact on how we feel. I have had to train my mind so much as I always had such negative internal dialogue. 
  • Practice mindfulness as much as you can. When we have the power to become mindful, we are gaining control and becoming aware of what we are doing in that moment. This practice allows us to regulate our emotions better and can be a fantastic way to reduce stress, overthinking and anxiety (I can really tell you this from experience!)
  • Journaling! Writing out how we feel can free up so much space in our minds and allows us to focus on better things. When I feel negative or when my mind is telling me I’m not good enough I write out a few lines on how I’m feeling and sometimes like to replace each sentence with something I am proud of about myself. This helps give my mind a comparison which over time can truly help build your confidence and rewire how you think about things internally.

Remember that there are so many beautiful things about you and sometimes you just need to pause and reflect on those points. 

We are all human just trying to get through life and the challenges it poses. Most of us are just doing the best we can and that alone is something to be proud of.

Be kind to yourself and remember that nobody is perfect. 

Sending you love and light,

Sonam